Holidays of My Childhood

My mother came from a large family.  She was one of nine children, seven of whom lived to adulthood. Every one of those seven siblings had children of their own.  My mother was “the baby” of the family and was ten years younger than the next youngest.  Most of my cousins were close to my age.

When my family got together for holidays, it was a nice size crowd, often around 40 people. We celebrated holidays that fell during the summer at a park with lots of space and room to play, “pot luck” meals, softball games and lots of love.

When I was very young, I remember that one of my aunts hosted the Thanksgiving dinner.  We had huge portions of all the traditional Thanksgiving foods.  For a few years, my grandmother hosted it, and in later years, one of my cousins took it over.  We ate too much, visited and laughed a lot.

Being Jewish, we celebrated Chanukah.  During my childhood, my mother usually hosted a Chanukah party.  She had a wooden Star of David that stood about five feet tall.  Because of its proximity on the calendar to Christmas, the star became “Americanized” and was covered with foil, garland and blue lights.  It was beautiful. 

Chanukah is eight nights long, and children received eight small gifts, one on each night.  This too was an American tradition, because gifts were not part of the original celebration of Chanukah.  At our party each year, the children received gifts from all our aunts and uncles too.  My siblings and I took turns lighting the menorah (Chanukah candelabra) and saying the prayer that goes with the lighting ceremony every night of the holiday.  On the night of our family party, one of our cousins would light the candles.

When we were very young, my siblings and cousins and I would always put on a show when the family got together.  We would sing and dance for the adults, and everyone would applaud at what must have been terrible performances.  It all just added to the fun and celebration. 

When I became an adult, I began hosting our Chanukah party at my home.  I inherited my mother’s Star of David to decorate for our family party.  We had so much food!  Potato Latkes (pancakes) are the traditional dish served at Chanukah, but we also had Lokshen Kugel (noodle pudding) and myriad other dishes my cousins and aunts brought to the party.  Whether my mother or I hosted, we had at least 25 people in attendance and enjoyed being together.

Although Christmas was not “our” holiday, the family did get together on Christmas at one of my aunt’s homes on that day.  My aunt had what she called a “Chanukah bush,” which was basically a fake white Christmas tree with blue lights. We had no gifts, but we always had tons of food and laughter and fun to go with it.

My parents, aunts and uncles and one of my sisters are gone now.  I live 600 miles away from my family, so my husband and I have no family with whom to celebrate the holidays.

I read about and hear many people talk about how they dread getting together with their families for holidays.  They talk about disagreements and hostility between family members, and I find that very sad. 

I cherish the wonderful memories of holidays gone by, and I miss my family terribly at this time of year.  My wish for everyone is that they will appreciate their family while they have them.  Choose your “battles” carefully so you don’t feel guilty when they are gone.

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