I loved Erma Bombeck. I ran across these quotes from her, and they
are all such fun! I hope you enjoy them. I sure did!
All Quotes by Erma Bombeck
“When your mother asks, “Do you want a piece of advice?” it’s a mere
formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it
anyway.”
“I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food.”
“When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says
he’s doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911."
“The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with
only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.”
“All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking
children into a house with a white carpet is one of them. ”
“Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel
never belongs to anyone?”
“Everyone is guilty at one time or another of throwing out questions
that beg to be ignored, but mothers seem to have a market on the supply. “Do
you want a spanking or do you want to go to bed?” “Don’t you want to save some of the pizza for
your brother?” “Wasn’t there any
change?”
“Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn’t even in the same
neighborhood. No one has ever gotten a religious experience out of removing
burned-on cheese from the grill of the toaster oven.”
“A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.”
“Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed
in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.”
========================
