“That is too hard.”
“Why
bother trying? You’ll just fail.”
Are these messages you say to yourself? Negative self-talk can prevent us from
reaching our goals. Most of us have used negative self-talk at some point in
our lives. The important thing is to
recognize that you are doing it. Then
you can move forward.
This damaging behavior goes beyond negative
self-talk. It can include
procrastination; dreaming of a great future, but doing nothing to achieve it;
worry, fear and doubt; anger or overly-assertive behavior that is out of
character for you; and feeling worthless or undeserving.
If any of these behaviors sound familiar, you likely
are self-sabotaging your success. To
reach your goals and dreams, you must recognize it and overcome it to move
forward – and quickly!
The first step in breaking the self-sabotage
cycle is to recognize it. Does it seem
that you are failing repeatedly when you know you have the skills and abilities
to succeed? Are your goals remaining
far-away dreams? Are you putting off
tasks and actions that are preventing you from accomplishing what needs to be
done? Do you lack motivation or find
yourself becoming frustrated?
If you answered “yes” to any of these
questions, you must act fast to stop the destructive behavior. To change your
negative inner thoughts, ask yourself a few more questions. Are these damaging thoughts based on
reality? Have you failed in the past
when you truly gave a task your best effort?
Why do you believe you are thinking so poorly of yourself?
Your responses to these questions will likely
help you clarify the reason(s) behind your behavior. You can then move forward
to begin changing your self-talk from negative to positive. You ARE capable of reaching your goals,
attaining success, if you leave your past in the past, and recognize your fears
and face them as challenges that you can overcome.
Start by setting a few small goals that are
fairly easy to reach in a short period of time.
Put a deadline on each one, and slowly increase the difficulty and time
it will take to achieve them. As you complete
each of these mini-goals, it will motivate you and build your
self-confidence.
When you look at others who are attempting the
same or similar goals, are they achieving them?
Do you truly believe they are smarter, more talented or skilled than you
are? If you are honest with yourself,
you will likely realize that if they can do it, so can you!
Think of how much stress you have been putting
on yourself with your negativity. Once
you push yourself, use your skills and let go of your self-doubt, you will be
able to release the anxiety and stress you have had for so long.
None of this will happen overnight, and I will
not pretend that it will be easy; but once you begin to believe you can do
whatever it is you strive to do, you will be able to accomplish all tasks
before you. You will, in fact, reach
each of your small goals and set new more challenging goals and overcome them
as well. Finally, in time, you will put
a plan in place that will help you to accomplish all your goals and
dreams.
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