I am
part of the “Baby Boomer” generation. My
generation helped to destroy the once very common long-lasting marriage. We
were the first generation where divorce became commonplace. My own parents were married 63 years and my
grandparents, 55.
In
earlier times when people married, they entered the relationship knowing that
it would be permanent. They had no more
or fewer disagreements than people have today, but for most, escaping the
marriage was never considered. They
didn’t throw things away… they fixed them!
Today,
way too many people get married with, “If it doesn’t work out, we can always
get a divorce” in the back of their minds.
They don’t consciously think that way of course, but it is a seed
germinating, ready to bloom when challenges in their marriage arise. I think fewer people with each generation are
willing to make a lifetime commitment.
My
husband and I will celebrate our 22nd wedding anniversary on January
1, 2015. We were both married previously (I was widowed), neither of us for nearly as long. We
have disagreements. Everyone does on
occasion. However, we never raise our
voices in anger, never call one another names and never cuss at one
another. We always demonstrate respect
for one another.
My
sister brags that she and her husband have been married 35 years, but she has
also told me that they scream and yell at one another and use filthy language
when they “fight.” Hmm. Is this a “good” marriage because of its
longevity?
My
husband and I were recently discussing the poor marriage record of Baby Boomers,
and we realized that although divorce is very common for those our age, we
actually know several people who have been married for a very long time.
We have
several couple-friends who have been married more than 30 years, the first
marriage for two of those couples. In
fact, we were surprised to realize that most people we know have been married
for 20+ years. Since so many people
divorce these days, how is it that we have so many friends in long-lasting
marriages? Do people in good marriages
attract or seek out others in good marriages?
I have
found a similar attitude in network marketing.
Most of those in the industry are unwilling to commit to their business;
while a small percentage is fully committed, no matter what or how long it
takes. I have developed a few close
friendships with other network marketers.
Like the long-married couples I know, those close friendships only seem
to be with those who have a similar passion for their business that I have for
my own.
Will
the next generation and the next one after that commit to relationships and to
their work, or will commitment become less and less common as time goes on? Of course, I do not know, but I pray it is the
former.
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